As I sat in the salon today, I tried to think about my personal feelings about getting my hair cut in an attempt to combat my neuroses with logic. And I have a lot of neuroses that seem to flare in the beauty parlor chair.
The woman who cuts my hair is wonderful. She is sweet, kind, thoughtful, patient, and does a really good job. Is it her fault that I just want to get in and out of there as fast as possible, no body gets hurt? I am even too shy to tell her I don't want the scalp massage she patiently gives me. I appreciate it, but I don't particularly enjoy it, but don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her not to do it!
Another problem is (and always has been) I don't like seeing myself in the mirror while my hair is being cut, and I don't like the way my hair looks (or for that matter, how I look) when I leave the salon. I can never get home fast enough! And I never plan any social event (or even shopping) after a haircut where I might be seen by anyone other than my husband, who never seems to notice any changes in my hair for some strange reason.
Tonight I wore my glasses, hoping that taking them off while I was being shorn would make the whole process less traumatic since I would be essentially blind. I observed that I am much more talkative when I cannot see! This must be somehow related to the phenomena I notice at the beach or swimming pool: when I cannot see anyone else, I have this irrational impression that no one can see me or the various lumps and rolls pudging out from my swimsuit. Getting back to the haircut, being blind during the process made the final donning of the glasses even more traumatic, as I had some expectation, some naive hope, that this would be the miracle haircut that I immediately loved. Alas, no.
Tomorrow morning I'll wash my hair, style it, and it will look a little better than it did this morning, I think. As long as I don't analyze it too much!
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